Saturday, 11 August 2012

kicking off my shoes

Umm,  hello. I can't believe i'm actually nervous. I mean, no one's looking at me right now. I have written before, of course, in letters, and journals, and creative writing competitions that i never won, but that was when no one was watching. And reading.  Wow, i'm nervous.              
Probably i should begin like this: The reason i wanted to blog all of a sudden, i'll just spit it out, I failed my driving test. simple thing, could happen to anyone, but I am just so good at exaggerating everything.  I met a couple of my friends last week for lunch at a classic punjabi dhaba, and over butter chicken they discussed their respective blogging experiences. sounded fun. just like playing the violin, learning swimming, learning to drive sounded like fun. Anyway, so i said to myself, do i want to try this blogging stuff too? and then today morning in the shower, i came up with a number of ideas, with grand headlines, pictures and all. Out of the shower and the call came, that i'd failed the driving test. What got me really upset: they'd told me yesterday that i passed. I mean, i didn't drive that very badly. sure, i sped up during a left turn, but that was only because the inspector guy bombarded me with a number of pointless questions,( " what do you study?". -"Which college?" "where's your college?" "how is college?'). Now why is it any of his business how i find college? Anyway, i turned too bloody fast and he failed me. So i called up my driving teacher that evening, and he tells me that i've passed. Yay, i even go break the news to my grandparents. 
And this morning he tells me there's been a mistake, someone called 'Lumina' passed the test, and they thought it was she who called up. Now i definitely spoke extremely clearly, my name's Sramana, and its not my fault they find that so hard to follow. 
Truth is,  i dunno how exactly i should pronounce my name either. I'm bengali, and a bengali would call me 'Shromona', like all my relatives and puja association aunties do. But I dont call myself that, i say sramana, something between a s and a sh. Is my name really that hard to say? because i've heard just too many colorful versions of it. Like there was this one year i took part in the daandiya. Haha, i still can't believe i did, it must have looked so absolutely ridiculous. So daandiya, i had this partner who was a bff then, only the f didn't last for long,( i'll tell you why later, if you still want to know) she and i dressed up all ritualistically every night for the dance. I dunno how we managed to walk, let alone dance in circles, with all that fashion jewelry on. But we did, and i won this title, 'best dressed' something. Yay *clapping hands*. And the announcer, some glittery suit clad guy, called rajesh or something, he says, "best  dressed blah blah award, goes to 'Semolina'. And everyone's standing there wondering who on earth had the misfortune of having their parents name them semolina, when my then bff tells me that its me he's talking about. seriously, semolina, thats something my grandma makes marvelous porridge with. 
 Thats one. And this other time a girl and i were at this quiz competition. We killed it, we couldn't make head or tail of 90 percent of the questions. Haha, so during the prizes, we heard they were giving one away for the ' best team name'. We'd named our team 'quiz tzarinas',( Grand name, i know, for people who couldn't answer a thing). Anyway, they totally bought that name, my teammate's brainwave paid off and we got 200 bucks and a baggy t shirt each. coming back to the point of saying all this, the guy on stage says"---- and S. Ramana" Sob. There. they ruined my lovely name again, and my classmates teased me about it for months. I mean, there were a thousand people there, and i didnt even beg them for the baggy t shirt and cash, least they could do was say my name right. Well there it is, completely defeats the purpose of having a rare, unheard-of name. 
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